The Arm Bone is connected to the ....

Neck!

I did not know that.

Well, I did in a way, but sometimes we forget that everything needs to work together even though these parts do not directly connect. My neck is rebelling right now when my arms want to do anything which might require stretching or extending.

I slept better last night. I did take something to help. I slept until 2:30 in the recliner and then in my own bed for the rest of the night. I love my bed. Our bed is an antique wrought iron bed that belonged to my mother. We have a pillow top mattress which makes the bed sit up high, so high I need steps to get into it. Match that up with a cozy down comforter tucked inside the beautiful duvet' that my sister made and "that there is some good sleeping!" Oh how I have missed my bed.

I am on my own today. Husband works, oldest son works, and sister is taking care of her own home. My plans are to piddle around the house all day. No cleaning, no scrubbing, nothing that requires my arms to cause my neck to rebel any further.

Ouch

I look like a football player. My chin is there somewhere and I think my neck is as well, but right now there is too much swelling to really tell. Maybe not that bad, but there is considerable swelling. I did not make it to church today. That was tough. I did not find a comfortable position for sleeping last night due to some increased swelling, so I stayed home this morning. Husband went.
I have had a quiet day, just uncomfortable. My sister is coming tomorrow to take good care of me. That will be good medicine.

Home Again

I am home. May I just say it is amazing how much rehabilitating value there is in a shower! Awww. I feel so much better. I feel like I have no neck, due to swelling and what neck I can identify does not want to move very well, but these things seem minor. Oldest son took youngest back to college town so he is staying there for the weekend. Husband and I had a quiet return home, after that shower and a delicious lunch of pb&j (which actually was delicious) I took quite a long nap.

Husband has been caring for me ever so gently in ways you just could not ask everyone. Let's say that he has become very good at wound care and fetching. My neck is very stiff, I still have the deep voice, and I am still bandaged. I am not sure if I will attend church tomorrow or not. Part of me thinks that I will absolutely go, and that wild horses could not prevent me from going. The other part thinks I am not so sure. I will wait till tomorrow to decide. I hate to miss because these are many of the people who have carried us this last month. I would miss the youth during our second hour. I did not mention this yet, and hesitated to do so, but one of our amazing blessings came last week from the youth and sponsors at church. We were blessed with a generous gift from them which helped so much this week with transportation and meals. These kids reached out to us with so much love and concern. I just want to say that if any of you have an opportunity to work with the youth at your church you should try it. These kids will amaze you.

My post op appointment is this Wednesday afternoon. I am not sure if the lab results will be available yet. We will just play the waiting game again, but I know how to wait. God has perfected that trait.

It is so odd, but I am already bored at home. I don't really feel like shopping or going out. But after a shower and a nap I feel like a new woman. I am accepting visitors.

From the Hospital

Hello faithful readers!

Thanks to oldest son, I am blogging from my hospital room. His laptop is making this possible.
Wow. God is indeed good. I will not give all of the details, but surgery went very well. Things looked good to the surgeon's eye, but everything will be tested and we will know more in about a week. I am feeling pretty well. I have a somewhat stiff neck and really strange numbness around my jaw line and ears. I guess it will take a while for the feeling to return. Today the doctor removed the big bandage, and although we expected to see a rather large scar, it still was a bit depressing to actually see it. I know though that it will get better day by day.

I am staying in the hospital one more day. I have surgical drains that are not a pretty sight, and hopefully they can come out tomorrow, if not, I will come home with them. You might put that on your prayer list right now. All of you prayer warriors were quite successful in your petitions to God that He would prevent me from getting sick after surgery, so I know what can result from your prayers.

I continue to be so blessed by friends and family. My husband has been so gentle and amazing, and has helped me pass the time. Others have come by just when we need them. The nursing staff is wonderful, and I could get used to people waiting on me hand and foot.

As far as side effects, I seem to have a deeper, voice than before, we will see how long that lasts, and the numbness I mentioned is strange. Other than that I think things have gone very well.

I guess there are a few funny stories to tell, but others could tell them better than I. I guess I asked if I could pray right before surgery, although I do not remember that at all. I guess I even did a decent job of praying while I was "under the influence" of some mighty fine sedatives. I don't remember any of that, but it makes me happy to think that God gave me such a peace that I would offer up a prayer at that moment.

So many of you had a big hand in the peace that I have felt. You have been God with "skin on" these past few weeks and have shown how we are to live and love on this earth. I will always be grateful.

God is Good~ All THE TIME !

Tomorrow morning bright and early we will leave for the hospital. Surgery is at 7:30. Today we went for multiple pre-op appointments and to see the breast surgeon. It was decided that we wait for any additional surgery there until I am released from this other surgery, The doctor said there is no harm in waiting, even if it is a month. I am fine with everything he said.

I knew God would bless me in amazing ways today and I was not disappointed. The blessings began early and continued throughout the day. My sister came around 9:00 and we had a fun bargain shopping outing shortly after she got here, then we came back to the house. She cooked lunch for us, cleaned and organized many areas of my house and stayed here while husband and I went for our appointments. When we returned home she had supper waiting. How wonderful.

While we were gone I called to talk to her and she was the one overwhelmed when she told me one thing after another..."Anita, someone planted 12 mums in your yard, you had a huge basket of flowers delivered, you got 8 cards in the mail today." I am so humbled at the incredible outpouring of love and concern for my family and I .

Many have called me today, my friend Reta came by to hug me, family came this evening to see me and pray for me, and I have gotten many emails. What blessings. Youngest son was able to make it home for surgery, so both of my boys will be at my side.

I am ready. I have had a super migraine today, but it is getting better. I do think it has helped me to not be worried, I have just been trying to get over the headache.

I feel God has done more than His part in preparing me for this day, friends and family have gone over and above their call of duty, and my husband and sons have showered me with love and concern.

I am ready.

My Blog Title and Quote and other Random Thoughts

I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the heading and quote on my blog. Most of you know why my blog is really named "The Silver Lining", and for those of you who do not know me, I am sorry, I cannot explain. However, when I started this blog I was not being philosophical or deep and reminding everyone that "behind every cloud is a silver lining", I just liked the name because of its special meaning to me. Now that I have had a heart attack and am walking through cancer I am reminded daily that there is truth to that old phrase. It is ironic to me now that I chose that for a title. I have seen the silver lining so much lately.

As far as the quote by Vance Havner goes...that is a bit creepy and wonderful all at the same time. I LOVE that quote. The first time I ran across it was about 8 years ago when we went on vacation with husband's parents and I found an NIV Worship Bible. I really did not need a new Bible, but I fell in love with the format and the way quotes and song excerpts are woven throughout the pages. That quote seemed to jump off of the page and I have loved it ever since. Yes it seems odd now when you read the part about "being one day closer..." but in reality, we are all one day closer. Every one of us, and whether or not we are prepared for that time, are truly "one day closer". I will be so happy when all of these earthly questions are no longer questions. When we see God in His glory, and see His plan clearly.

Today I saw the cardiologist for clearance for my surgery. That appointment went fine. Everything is moving right along. Tomorrow I have several appointments and will also learn the time of my surgery. My sister is coming early tomorrow and is going to help me get some things done in the morning and then while husband and I are gone for the appointments she is going to do some work in my house for me, and cook us supper! Everyone should have a sister like her!

Tonight my other "sisters" came again to pray for me. I love these girls. They fill my heart to the brim with their compassion and their love for me. I feel so badly for those that walk these ugly roads alone.

Tomorrow is the last full day before surgery. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me!

Goodnight

How?

How do people go through something like this without the family of God to walk with them? How do they have the strength to put one foot in front of the other? I am so fortunate. I have so many people reaching out to me. So much love. I am overwhelmed, but I don't want it to stop.

I Love my Boys

I had an amazing day yesterday with my boys. Oldest and I left here around 10:30 and got to youngest' apartment in time for a late lunch at a fun, delicious, local restaurant. We then went shopping ( I know, they are boys and shopping is not usually what guys want to do, but this was for them) and we had a great time. I just enjoyed them so much yesterday. We got home around 9:00 last night.

The Two Worst Words in the English Language

There are a lot of bad words in the English language. A lot of ugly cuss words, a lot of mean hateful words, and a lot of dreaded words (cancer being one of them). But I have decided hands down that the two worst words, at least for me, are these:

What if...

Think about it. What good can come from asking those two words? Believe me I have asked them. I asked them a few different times in the night last night. I have to tell you though, that I decided if I was going to ask them then I was going to answer them. That is when the peace came. There is not a single "what if" that God cannot handle. Do that sometime. Ask the big "what ifs" that concern you, then actually answer them. It kinda goes like this:

"Okay God, what if there is a mistake in surgery and the doctor cuts something he shouldn't ? I understand that the jugular vein is pretty important."

"Yes, daughter, it is important, but you do not need to fear. I have gifted this surgeon with abilities to repair these things."

"But God, ( I bet he gets tires of us saying that) what if he can't?"

"Anita, what if he can't? Ask what you are really afraid of."

"No, I don't really want to ask that."

"No, but would you rather toss and turn than give that fear over to me?"

You can see where this went, I have asked God many of the what ifs, but like I said God has a pretty good answer for all of them.


I do have fears. I am not completely brave. I just have chosen to live my daily life during these last few weeks by not letting my fear drive me. Many people I am in contact with on a daily basis have had no idea that I have cancer. I credit that to God. He has allowed me to go through my days happy and somewhat pleasant. I am sure there will be more questions and undoubtedly more fears to come to the surface. While I may be trying the positive approach, I am not perfect. As I have said before, my husband is amazing. He hears my fears in a rational way as I tell him that while my head and heart knows something, I still have this pang of doubt or fear deep inside. He listens and even agrees with me at times, then he has just the right words to ease my mind. Case in point: I know that a scar is not the big worry here, that they could actually cut from stem to stern if it helps them to "get it all". I know that in my brain. I even really believe it in my heart. But really now, who wants a huge scar on their neck from ear to ear? Husband did not discredit me when I expressed that to him. He listened, shook his head in agreement with me when I expressed my anxiety, and then he reminded me that this scar heals well and will not be very noticeable after a while.

While I am on the subject of my husband~ He took time out from his day yesterday and hand delivered a planter with flowers in it to school with a beautiful card because he wanted to cheer me up. He brought a planter because he thought I could keep it on my desk this year at school. He knew that my hard shell was developing a few cracks due to fatigue and he knew just what I needed, an extra dose of thoughtfulness. Mental note: that is another blessing from all of this. God is teaching me again to appreciate my husband.

I know I wandered form the title. I don't care. This is not Random House, this is Anita's house. You get what you get.

Plans for the day: sister was going to come up and help me deep clean today. However she is snotty and I don't want her. Okay, I mean that literally, she has a cold. I do not need a cold right now. So, oldest son and I are going to college town and take a bunch of stuff to youngest. Then we are going out to lunch. Oldest and I will not stay late. I still have a house to clean. I just wanted to spend some fun time with my boys before Wednesday.

Product Review

Tylenol PM does not work.

At least not for me. I was awake half the night again last night. Maybe tonight I will go to bed at 5:00 after all.

Everything is all planned out for next week. On Monday I go to my last cardiac rehab session for a while and then see a cardiologist so he can sign off on my surgery. I will then go to school for just the afternoon and call it quits for a while. Tuesday I have multiple appointments in the pre-op department including one with anesthesia. I had planned just to meet with them on the morning of surgery, but I tend to get sick after that stuff so I want to ask in advance if there is anything they can do about that. Also on Tuesday I see a different surgeon about the breast issue. (Remember that?) I have no idea what to expect there. Then, of course, Wednesday is the big surgery. It is scheduled for 6 hours. I won't mind so much, but that is a long time for husband and family to wait.

I think maybe this fatigue I am feeling right now is a gift from God because I am just to tired to think much past wanting some sleep. Worries are not really foremost on my mind. That may change.

I am Soooo Sleepy

It is only 5:30. I want to go to bed now. Not really a good idea because I would probably wake up at 3:00 a.m. I did not sleep last night. It was not a fitful, distressed night, I really was not worried. I did have a migraine though that I took medicine for at bedtime thinking that would be it. It stayed through the night and finally I took medicine again at 4:00 a.m. The migraine probably was brought on though by my state of mind right now, even though there was not obvious angst at bedtime. I resisted the urge to nap after school today because that would throw me off for tonight. I am sure it will be an early night for me.

Let the Countdown Begin

One more week.

I can't really believe that it is just one week until surgery. It has been over one month since we learned my diagnosis, and gee does that seem like a long time ago.

Today was my pre-op physical. Other than an electrocardiogram, which revealed that I had had a prior heart attack ( which of course I knew) it was not too eventful. They did decide that I need "cardio-clearance" prior to surgery, so I will see a cardiologist next Monday. I guess that is best since the heart attack was just over 3 months ago. Speaking of that, my sister mentioned something the other day that seemed interesting. She said that it seems like now that my heart attack has just been forgotten . In some ways that is true. I am still going to cardiac-rehab, but my focus lately has not really been on my heart. I guess I need to focus on my heart more. I have not been eating very heart healthy lately.

The next few days will be spent getting everything in order prior to surgery. I plan to stay a bit late at school and get some advance plans done for my substitute . The teacher I work with deserves that. I don't want to make this any harder on her than it needs to be.

I also will be getting some things done here at home. My sister is planning on coming this Saturday to help me polish the house a bit and get some things in order. I have bills to pay and all of those other "fun" essentials that we do when we know we will not be at our best for a while.

Mentally I think I am ready. As I have said, God has been working very hard in that department. He has put songs and scriptures in my mind and has put so many people with their encouragement in my path. Last night was another sleepless night, so I have not completely won that battle, but I am working on it. I fear that as the day gets closer I will have a few more nights like that. Pray for me please.

One more week.

Amazing Weekend and Deep Thoughts

*** I hope you make it to the bottom of this post***

This was an amazing and refreshing weekend. It is so fun to go on vacation with 30 of your close friends! We traveled about 3 hours away for husband to participate in a Christian softball tournament. The team we went with this year is a mix of oldies (literally) and some young guns. As far as the tournament goes, I have no idea of where we placed. We won the first two games, then lost 2 in a row. That was it for us, as it is a double elimination tournament. After the first two games, we all enjoyed a picnic under a tree, which we all brought something and pooled it together. Later that evening we practically filled a restaurant, then we had church.

Let me tell you, my favorite thing about the weekend is really not softball. To be honest, half of the players would tell you the same thing. It is so much more than that. Our simple church service was probably one of the best we have all year. Something about a small group of friends joined in worship is really special. We all sat in our "bag" chairs, on the lawn of the hotel, and began by singing a couple of worship songs led by one of the guys on the team. The mood was immediately set to become real before God. Instead of a "sermon" one of the guys said that after the singing we would just open it up for anyone to speak whatever is on our minds. Another one of our guys got up immediately and posed a simple question, which he then gave his own answer . "How are you spiritually, how is your walk?" He was very open and honest with his own answer, and let us know that he was not where he should be. Then the first guy talked and after answering for himself, he turned the question directly to me. I knew already that I had to talk, because I had that jumpy, nervous feeling, where if you don't talk you will explode. I decided to stand and face everyone. Most of them knew that I have been diagnosed with cancer, not everyone knew that the summer began with me having a heart attack. I had to give a rundown on the summer and then get to the heart of the question.

How am I spiritually? I am still processing that one. I think that when my spiritual world and my physical world collided earlier this summer it definitely forced me to become more dependent on God. I know in a profound way that this life can be short, and that our very next breath is a gift from God. I pray more. Not only desperation prayers, but prayers of thanksgiving and many prayers of praise. Not only am I praying more, I am listening. That is probably one of the single, most important changes in my spiritual life. I am more in tune with what God is telling me than ever before. I never want that to change.

After I spoke, two of the guys spoke, and it was quite humbling. They very openly and honestly expressed that they were not at all where they wanted to be spiritually and that they desperately wanted to get their lives back on track and to put God where He needs to be . Their brokenness was beautiful because you could see their hearts. I thought later how I am in reality better off right now than many people in the world. I am physically sick. Spiritually I am getting stronger. As much as I do not like cancer, I do not EVER want to become spiritually sick.

Another thing has me thinking tonight. It was brought to my attention that I should not be using the phrase, "my cancer" because by saying that phrase I am taking ownership of "this thing".

Hmmm.

I have given that a lot of thought. I do not know the person who said that, it was reported to me by my sister-in-law. I do know though from her that the person who said it is a very sweet person and a mighty prayer warrior. I know her intentions are the best. I feel though that I might very well continue to phrase it that way, or perhaps I will not. I personally do not fear saying it. I know that the Apostle Paul spoke of his "thorn in the flesh" and in fact claimed ownership of whatever it was that troubled him. I know that Jesus mentioned "this cup" when He truly did not want to experience what God has planned for Him. I feel that by claiming it I am not approving of it, I am not really accepting it as anything I desire. I am simply accepting the fact that it is what it is, I KNOW that God can still change it if He chooses, I KNOW that this is not from God. This is from the world. I do not now, or will ever believe that God "gives" people cancer. I believe He allows us to walk through these trials, that He is right here with me, and that He will cause good to come from it. He did not however cause it.

There are many things in this life that we accept. Including the grace, love, mercy, and healing that God provides. I KNOW that God is bigger than "this thing".

Nicole Johnson from Women of Faith has put into words, and in a very dramatic way, what I have been feeling lately. She does a routine which is really about breast cancer, but the phrase she proclaims at the end sums up my feelings exactly.

"I have cancer, but cancer does not have me!"

We are off again

Tonight I am busy packing for another get away. We are heading to an annual softball tournament that my husband plays in with a group from our church. We do this each Labor Day weekend and we love it. Even when our team does not do so well we have a blast. It is like going on vacation with 30 of your closest friends. I am tired tonight and have a lot to do, but I am anxious for the chance to get away again.

How did I miss this?

Sometimes God speaks to you in subtle ways, and sometimes it is as if He slaps you in the face to get your attention. Today was one of those slappin' days. I was at cardiac rehab, minding my own business, walking on the treadmill. I brought along my ipod, (yes, this old lady has an ipod- it was a "freebie" a few years ago when oldest bought his Mac computer, he already had one, so mom has an ipod!)

Anyway, I was walking along and enjoying my music when a song played that I have heard many times. I guess this time I really listened. It was as if God said, "Anita, pay close attention to this song, I am trying to tell you something". The song is, "Until" by Mark Harris. Mark Harris used to sing with the group 4Him. This song is on his solo album. The words are below, and after you skim over them you can read what I truly believe that God was telling me through this song. I just wish I could find it on YouTube or somewhere for you to hear.

Until: By Mark Harris

It is it unfair to say that You are leading,
Then try and face this mountain on my own,
Why am I scared, I've never stopped believing,
And You never left me alone.
Well, I can get ahead of where you've led me to,
But I will trust Your heart enough to wait for You ...

Until this mountain moves,
Until the path is clear,
Until Your voice is the only one I can hear.
Until I see Your hand,
Until I know Your heart,
Until I trust the grace that's carried me this far
I will be still, until ...

How could I have ever seen this coming,
It's not like I've been running from Your will,
Tell me why each day's another mystery,
Waiting for Your truth to be revealed,
I try to tell my heart to trust what I believe,
And wait on You through all of my uncertainty ...

Until this mountain moves,
Until the path is clear,
Until Your voice is the only one I can hear.
Until I see Your hand,
Until I know Your heart,
Until I trust the grace that's carried me this far
I will be still, until ...

Be still my heart of worry,
Be still my restless soul,
Be confident and certain,
Be still and know

CHORUS:
Until this mountain moves,
Until the path is clear,
Until Your voice is the only one I can hear.
Until I see Your hand,
Until I know Your heart,
Until I trust the grace that's carried me this far
I will be still, until ...
Oh, I will be still, until


I have been so anxious for my surgery. I even commented recently that I felt as if this time while I am waiting is just wasted time. Today changed that. I believe that God is preparing me in the best way possible for my surgery, and the days up to then are planned so that I will face this surgery fully prepared. This song refers to how we try to get ahead of God instead of just waiting "until". I have to admit that I gave no thought to what God might have in store for me in these next few weeks. I even said to Him, that I just wanted it over with. However, every day I am hearing from friends and family, every day I am hearing a special song or scripture brought to me by a friend, or something I have run across on my own. Literally, EVERY day. There has not been a single day since my cancer was announced that I have not gotten either a phone call, a card, a word of encouragement, or a word of someone praying for me. It is so obvious to me now, that these days before surgery are not just a scheduling problem due to a busy doctor or a tied up O.R. No, they have been planned by God so that I could face this surgery, this cancer, in the very best way possible. Had I rushed into surgery I would not have the scriptures or songs that are now planted in my heart and mind. I would not have realized the huge support I have through family and friends, and most importantly, I might have put my confidence in doctors rather than realizing with all of my being that God is truly in control.

So, I will be still, I will wait, I will trust and I will have confidence in God's timing. September 10th is THE day for surgery. I just wish I could pick up on these lessons a bit sooner.

Great News

I have not mentioned this yet on this blog because I was trying to protect my boys, but today I received some great news. I don't know how much you know about my cancer. Medullary Thyroid Cancer actually has 4 sub-types, three of those types can be hereditary. Because I have children, I had to be tested to see if I carry the mutated gene that is responsible for those three types. It took 2 long weeks to get the results back from my blood test.

I DO NOT carry this gene.

I have the sporadic type which occurs in 80 % of medullary cancers. There are no words to express how grateful I am of that news. God has just heard groaning of thanksgiving because I don't have the right words to use to thank Him. We deal with things differently when they are just about us, but when it threatens your kids it is a whole different story.

I have had a week of good news in a summer of one bad thing after another. I needed this. Now I can concentrate my thoughts on mentally preparing for my surgery.

Say a prayer of thanksgiving with me tonight, okay?

No news

There is nothing new to report tonight on my health issues.

Sometimes when there is nothing new going on, you would think I would almost feel "normal" but, to be honest, this cancer thing is on my mind 24/7 . Even when I am truly busy doing other things, it is still there. It worms its way into your brain and plays havoc with your thoughts. I almost feel like these days where nothing is going on are wasted days. I have said it before, I am ready to get this show on the road. I just wish I did not think about it all of the time. Truthfully, my thoughts are not all gloom and doom, I have many peaceful thoughts where I know God is in control, and where I imagine myself having a very smooth surgery and recovery. I know I will be well taken care of by family and friends, and I know I have a good medical team looking out for me. But even knowing all of that, it still consumes me. I do not like to feel so self centered.

There have been a few moments where I have come as close to having a panic attack as I probably ever have. I wrote how nights are sometimes hard, ( they are getting better) another time where I am vulnerable is in the shower. You can cry in the shower and get by with it. That has only happened one other time though since I was given the news. However the other day, for some awful reason, I started second guessing all of the surgical plans, and let my mind fill with doubts. I am over that now. I need to say that I have a wonderful husband. He is my thought processor through all of this. When those crazy thoughts and feelings surface, I run them past him. He listens. He also shares his wisdom. The cool thing, is that no matter how crazy I get, he listens first. I love that. He is a wonderful sounding board and lets me get those crazy feelings out.

My boys are dealing with this differently. If you know our boys then you know they were born different. Oldest is quieter and is having a delayed reaction to all of this. Although it has been nearly a month since my diagnosis, he is just now emailing his friends and talking about it. He rarely talks about it at home, and just a couple of nights ago he and I had a long talk about everything. Youngest on the other hand, put out a note to all his friends within minutes after hearing the news. His way of dealing with it was to get it off of his chest immediately. He did the same thing on the day of my heart attack. They are different and I think that they are both just dealing with it in their own best way.

Cancer just changes everything.

The $20.00 Challenge

****Thank you so very much to those of you who commented on my last post. It is just good every now and then to have a feel of just who is reading. Sometimes I get kinda raw in my posting and I just need to know who might be reading. I know there are others that read and do not comment, and that is okay.

Now, just so you know that I've still "got" it. I had a very successful shopping trip this afternoon! I don't have pictures, so I know it is boring without pics, but take my word for what I am about to share about the power of couponing!

I started with a $20.00 bill that husband gave me after church.

1st Transaction, stopped at CVS after church:

2 "big city" newspapers-- total $3.50

2nd Transaction, went to Walgreens while husband was napping:

2- 8 oz bags of Mexican blend cheese
2- 8 oz bags of cheddar cheese
3- 18 oz jars of Peter Pan peanut butter
4- Glade Plug Ins
I had coupons for everything and due to store sales and coupons and a $5.00 Walgreens Register Reward from a deal last week my total (drum roll please) was--$ 3.85

3rd Transaction, I went across town to the "big" CVS:

2 small boxes Malt-O-Meal Cinnamon Toasters cereal
2 boxes Nabisco Premium Saltines
1 Kotex Liner
1 CVS hand soap
1 bag of pretzels -donated to the troops

Here, due to coupons my total was a mere $ .78 (yep, 78 cents!) I earned $1.49 in Extra Bucks

4th Transaction, came back by the CVS by my home because the other one was out of Pepsi:

2- 12 packs of Pepsi
2- 12 packs of Diet Pepsi
I had a $2/$10 coupon and $5.00 in Extra Bucks , so I spent only $ 5.39 (earned $3.00 Extra Bucks)


My total for the day from my original $20.00 is: (including newspapers I bought to sweeten the coupon stack)

$3.50
$3.85
$0.78
$ 5.39

$13.52 !

Somewhere though I lost a dime, because I only have $6.38 left in my billfold. I guess with these deals I can part with one dime. It does hurt though...


Youngest is all moved in to his new apartment. It is a nice apartment and he has very nice roommates. One of the guys formally went to the Bible college that youngest had attended, so he knows him well. This is a very nice, clean, new apartment right on campus. From what I hear, these guys like it kept neat. Music to my ears. We unloaded him, took he and his friend out to a good lunch, then to WalMart (of course) to purchase some groceries and necessities.

I am taking it easy this evening. I do not like to be on the run all of the time. I am tired and will let husband and oldest son pamper me tonight!

Youngest is Leaving Today / Special Request

I made cookies! I don't think I have made cookies at all this summer until last night. It felt so good to bake. If you know me, you know I love to bake, and if you look back on a past post of mine, ( just click here) you will see how much I love to bake for my boys. I just love to send them off to school with a fresh batch. I did not do the marathon baking as I did before, but youngest son has 2 plates of soft, extra-chocolate, chocolate chip cookies.

Today we are packing up youngest son and getting him settled in his campus apartment as he goes off to obtain an art degree. He is a talented young man and will have a good year. I have to be honest though, it has been so good to have him around here this summer. When mom starts off the summer with a heart attack it is not a good thing. Having my two boys around has really helped. Oh believe me, there were days when these guys did not want to do anything, but overall, they have helped a lot.

I am going to make a request in this post. I have been very personal lately and have been revealing nearly everything as I find out what is going on medically. I would just like to know who is reading. Many people tell me that they read my blog, but I would like an occasional comment. If you are friends and family, please let me know that you are keeping up. Any and all words of encouragement would be so appreciated. You can leave a comment as "anonymous" but can describe who you are in the comment, or you can sign in to an account and use a name. Comments make my day. Each day I am receiving cards in the mail and I cannot tell you what a huge blessing that is. I am getting cards from people I have not seen in years, people I once worked with but due to school employee shuffles, I no longer see, and many many cards from friends and family. I would also love a few notes on this blog. So, if you read regularly, just let me know .

All for now, we need to leave soon. There are college boys waiting for cookies!

Cause for Praise

I do not have breast cancer. I do not have breast cancer. I had to say that twice. However, there are some cells there that are not really what you want to develop so I have to have a further surgery. Not extensive, but nonetheless another surgery. I will meet with a surgeon to discuss this on the day before I have my thyroid out. I have no idea when all of this will take place.

Busy

Youngest son is preparing to go back to college, and that always means a few extra shopping trips for things to get him ready. Tonight we went to about 4 places picking up some things he needs personally and for the apartment. I think he is basically set. He will do most of his final packing tomorrow and when I get home from school we will run through the checklist to see if he is done. We are taking him back on Saturday. Although this is a lot to take care of right now, it is a good distraction. I like sending my boys off with a little TLC. Hopefully I will have time tomorrow evening to bake him a fresh batch of cookies to take to his apartment. He would love that. I would love doing it.

Wrong surgery date...

I told you I was tired. Surgery is the 10th of September, not the 6th.

What a day...

I am tired and may fall asleep while posting, but I want to update on with the latest news. Today was a full day for me. First, I had the sterio-tatic breast biopsy. I will not give many details on that, except to say it took two hours and was not fun. I am not sure when I will get the results of that.

At 1:00 I saw an ENT surgeon. Turns out, not only is this guy an ENT surgeon, he is also a head and neck oncologist. That was very reassuring, in that he knows my cancer, and the best treatment. Surgery is set for September 10th. It will be long, about 6 hours. He will totally remove my thyroid, and perform both central and lateral neck dissections. We are taking an aggressive approach because with this particular cancer, surgery is the only defense. It does not respond to chemotherapy, radioactive iodine, and usually not to external beam radiation. The best result is to attack it while it is still in the neck. My CT scan was clear, which is great news. There is no definitive way to know at this point if any lymph nodes are involved. That will not be made known for sure until after surgery. Since we are taking the aggressive approach surgically, hopefully if any are involved, they will soon be gone. I will be in the hospital about 2 days, and will rest at home about 2 weeks before returning to work.

I am very tired tonight. I plan to go to work tomorrow and meet the new class, I was told by the teacher I work with that only 6 students were there today. We may have a smaller class this year, at least for a while. That would be nice.

I am also sore. Frozen peas are nice to have in the freezer, they make a wonderful ice pack.

Good night all.

Friends

I have commented many times on this blog of just how blessed I am. I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I have received so many cards, phone calls. offers to help , and many many prayers since my cancer was announced. Tonight I want to share two items I have received.

On Sunday a friend came up to me at church and gave me a bracelet that she made. She makes beautiful jewelry all of the time and I must say I have always admired it. When she first learned of my cancer, she stated that she wanted to DO something. (So many of my friends have expressed that helpless feeling of wishing they could physically do something for me.) After thinking about that for a while, and thinking about cancer in general, she designed a special bracelet, and included the scripture from Isaiah about how God makes beauty from ashes. She got to thinking of how an ugly piece of carbon can be turned into a beautiful diamond, and how God could take something as ugly as cancer and turn it into a beautiful testimony. The bracelet shows rough black beads to represent the carbon, then beads which seem to be slightly polished and refined, then the crystals to represent diamonds. What an encouragement to me, as I wear this bracelet and think of just what God is able to do. She included a copy of Chrystal Lewis' song: Beauty for Ashes, and I have played it repeatedly in the car since Sunday.

(You can click on this picture to read the verse)



I also have a special group of friends, which I have commented on before. We are all friends from church and get together often. They came and prayed for me the night I first got my diagnosis. One of them got the idea of a special ribbon which shows that they are my "Prayer Warriors" and will proceed into battle with their prayers. Another one of them made the ribbons and they plan to wear them to tell the world that they are my prayer warriors. That was such a tender, thoughtful thing to do. I am overwhelmed at the love I am being shown already.



Today I returned to school, and it was overwhelming there as well. So many came up to me to offer words of encouragement and to tell me they are praying.

I am seeing God "with skin on" everywhere I look.

Now for the latest:

Tomorrow morning I get to drink a "delicious" berry smoothie drink before I have my CT scan. I do not think that this berry smoothie will taste anything like the truly delicious ones that my youngest son makes, but it is suppose to help with the testing , so I will drink it. The CT will be of my neck, chest , and abdomen. Hopefully the results will be ready for the surgeon I am seeing on Wednesday.

Back to School

Normally I would be just a little bit excited about going back to school, but this year I am not. Hopefully tomorrow when I get there I will feel a bit better about all of this, but right now my focus is just elsewhere. I will be taking two sick days right off the bat due to medical testing and a doctor's appointment, so I won't be there much this week anyway.

I will let you know how it goes.

Respite from the Battle

Husband and I just returned from our two day get-away. I have to say that getting away was beautiful medicine for my soul. We really did not do much or go to any big attractions, rather we rested, and enjoyed each other's company immensely. We spent our time dining at some of our favorite restaurants, shopping (not so much for me this time) and sleeping!

How wonderful sleep is right now. I feel like any I am able to obtain is a precious thing. We slept until 10:00 A.M. our first morning. That is quite out of character for us, but it was so needed.

Let me explain:

I feel like I am doing pretty well with this cancer thing during the daytime. I have a huge support group, I have many distractions and I feel I am not only putting on a strong face, but rather, I AM strong. God is foremost on my mind and he reminds me that He is in control. I know that there are doctors who think they are in charge of my treatment, but they are just a small part of the future God has in store for me. While it is way to early to tell if my ultimate healing will come in this life or the next, I do know that it will come from God and not man. One way or another, He IS in control. My mind knows that, and so does my heart. During the daytime I can praise God readily and lean on Him while putting things somewhat in perspective.

Nights, however are a different story. Part of the reason I slept so late that morning is due to the little sleep I got through the night. In the middle of the night, under the cover of darkness, it is as if Satan creeps in, ready to attack. He fills my mind with doubts, with fears, and with worries. The thing that bothers me the most, is that I let him. I lay there and let every "what if" invade my thoughts. I know there is an answer for this, yet lately I have allowed this to occur on more than one occasion.

My friend Reta once sang the solo part on a song that our choir sang. Those words are burning in my heart right now, as I know the need to put them into practice. The song is" I Bless Your Name" and this one verse speaks to me,

"Some midnight hour
If you should find
You're in a prison in your mind
Reach out and praise
Defy those chains
And they will fall
In Jesus' Name"


She even mentioned how she knew the feeling of those midnight hours when we feel so hopeless. If I could just remember to combat those feelings with praise I could stop them so easily.

One purchase I made this weekend was a 4 volume CD collection by the group Selah. This is amazing music and I plan to fill my days with these songs and with scripture, so that my nights will be prepared for battle. The song I referred to is on one of these CDs.

This next week will be huge for me. Hopefully I will get some answers and learn more of my treatment plan. I half jokingly mentioned to my brother that with all that has happened this summer, I was waiting for the "third" shoe to drop. I found out on Thursday, just before leaving town that I have to go on Wednesday morning to have a breast biopsy. Something unexpected decided to take up residency where it does not belong, and now we need to find out what it is. So, we throw one more thing in the mix. I will have that done prior to seeing a surgeon for my thyroid.

See what I mean about needing to go to battle?

Running Away from Home

It is not Tahiti, but we are leaving.

On Thursday afternoon we are heading to St. Louis for 2 nights. We are cashing in our 2 night stay certificate at the hotel we stayed at for our anniversary. No doctors, no medical tests, no results. Just an escape.

Today the doctor has called me twice with thoughts on different surgeons and testing. I do appreciate that, but I am looking forward to two days of nothing.

News

Today I received a phone call from the endocrinologist, not from her nurse, from her.

The calcitonin level was indeed quite high.

The diagnosis of medullary cancer has been confirmed.

While I feel I had already been given the worse news, I just didn't like it being confirmed. She is canceling my appointment with the surgeon that was set for this Wednesday and wants someone more experienced with this sort of thing instead of a general surgeon. I tend to agree. This surgery will be more involved and more tedious than a "normal" thyrodectomy. She plans on having a surgeon lined up for me by Wednesday and may still send me to Mayo in Minnesota. My insurance will not pay so well there, but we will work that out. As my sister said, that is only money. Again, where is Oprah when you really need her?

I am trying to decide how I feel today about all of this. I do not really know what this feeling is that I am feeling. It seems to be a strange mixture of normally non compatible feelings. I mean, most would wonder how you would feel both uncertainty and determination, both fear and peace, both denial and resolve. I just know that this is what it is and my best energies need to be spent on positive ways to take care of it, not dwelling on negative things.

One thing I know for sure, we have a big God and he has not failed me yet.

Yummy

I might have a new addiction...



My family has been wanting me to kick the habit (Diet Pepsi that is) but I have always been very fond of my DP. Today might have changed that. Taking advantage of the Kraft coupon from All You Magazine, I bought a container of this Crystal Light in the Tangerine-strawberry flavor. It is delicious! I have 2 more of those coupons and I will definitely buy this same flavor!

I may need to go buy some more magazines.

In case you are wondering why, in the midst of all that is happening would I care to post about a drink mix? It is because I am trying to live my normal life and still get excited about bargains, and new things. I will not let this diagnosis change everything about me.

Tahiti Anyone?

Anyone out there have connections in Tahiti?
Jamaica?
Hawaii?
Shoot, I would take Florida. Actually anywhere that I could escape to sounds good to me. I only have a few days though that I could spend on my get away.

Where is Oprah when you ned her?

Update

I am not a very patient person.

I fool most people, but those that know me well know I do not like waiting.

I called the doctor's office today to check on my test results. Here is what I found out. There were two blood tests, one is very specific to the cancer that the pathology report found. The other test is a marker for many types of cancer. An elevation in either is not considered a good thing. The specific test results did not come back today and may not be in until later next week. The other one that basically says, "yeah, there is cancer in your body, but it could be one of several places," came back elevated.

I was asked how I was with that.

I feel I have already been given the worse news. I am just ready to get going with the treatment plan. Sure, a part of my wished for some blatant lab error, but in reality I guess I had resigned myself to the fact that I have cancer. I will not limit God though. Just because in my humanness I went along with the pathology report, I will not say this is the way it ultimately has to be. God can intervene at anytime.

Tomorrow is my family reunion. My family is large and scattered. I am the youngest of 9 children. Our parents are gone and our oldest brother passed away 20 years ago. We do not get together very often. We all live in 5 different states and tomorrow we will be together. The timing could not be better and I am sure that God had a hand in this. I will post pictures afterwards.

Have a blessed weekend.

Endocrinologist

That is a new word in my vocabulary.

I saw one today.

I wish I had some big news to tell you, something definite in this new fight for my life. However, I left asking my husband, "So, after that appointment, what do we know for sure?" This doctor wants to confirm the diagnosis of medullary cancer, which is fine with me, these things need to be known for sure. It is not that she doubts the pathology report, it's just that there is a blood test that further confirms this diagnosis. I had the blood drawn today and will hopefully have these results before I see the surgeon next week. If this blood test shows a high level of calcitonin in my blood, then this is most definitely medullary. If the level is normal, they will have to do a second type of blood test because a normal test does not mean that it is not. Confusing? Tell me about it. If in fact all things point to medullary, this doctor may want me to go to a different surgeon because of the tricky nature of such cancer. If it is a simpler type of thyroid cancer she is fine with the surgeon I am seeing next week. She is pushing Mayo Clinic in Minnesota if it is medullary. My insurance does not pay so well at Mayo, so we will have to put that in God's hands if that is to be. So, I really do not know much tonight.

This is what I know for sure. My pathology report leans toward medullary cancer of the thyroid. A specific blood test is also needed to confirm this. I had the blood test today. I am playing the waiting game. If the blood test results come in before next Wednesday when I see the surgeon , the endocrinologist will call me with those results. She just does not seem too eager to act on medullary cancer unless she is for sure that is what we are up against. She did let us know that things get more involved and more aggressive with that type of cancer.

I wish I could take a long nap until the test results come in...

I Won!

I have never won a blogging award before, so I want to thank Mercedes for this honor, even though my blog has changed its focus as of late.

I would like to pass this award on to the following blogs! They all have been a huge help and encouragement to me.

More than Enough

Confessions of a City Gal

Why Ask Why

Northern Cheapskate

Green Stew

Those are all great blogs and are very worthy of your time. Check them out!

Here are the rules for the winners:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.

3. Nominate at least 5 other blogs.

4. Add links to these blogs on your blog.
- Don't forget this step. This is great free advertising!

5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

Date Night and church

Last night was wonderful. Carving out wonderful moments is a priority right now. Husband and I went on at date. Now when I say we don't get out much, I mean it. We just do not take the time or money for regular date nights. Husband works on a lot of cars for people, many of them as a ministry and he does not have a lot of free evenings. Plus, we never feel that we can take the money for a proper date. We were blessed by two different people and that gave us a wonderful evening . A dear elderly lady from our church sent me a get well card after the heart attack. She inclosed a Red Lobster gift card. How thoughtful was that ? I combined that with a coupon and a bit of our own money and we had a great dinner. I also had some special movie tickets that my sister gave me, (she got them from giving blood or platelets!) which paid for our movie admission. So, we had dinner for two at Red Lobster and saw The Dark Knight, for only $20.00 of our money. It was so nice to just escape mentally for a while, and to be together with no distractions. Let me tell you how much I needed time with my husband...he shaved off his beard a week ago and I had not even noticed! Do you think maybe we don't spend enough time together? To be fair, there have been other things on my mind.

Church today was as I expected. I loved going before God in worship and being reminded that He is on the throne in good times and bad, although it was an emotional time for me. During the second hour, when husband and I work with the high school youth, we were surrounded by the students as the youth minister said a prayer for us. I felt much love and I know that many prayers will go up for me this week.

Today is a family reunion, and to be honest I do not want to go. I just don't want the questions and attention, but I will go nonetheless.

Weeding

This morning I got up early and went out before the heat is unbearable. I weeded. Quite therapeutic I might say. Now, since the heart attack I have neglected a lot of things. My yard does not stay in a very respectable state. Part of it is laziness I know, part is my busy schedule this summer. Cardiac rehab and doctor's appointments have taken up a big part of my days. Some days I just want to come home and vegetate.

My front bushes were in an especially sorry state. The overgrowth was not attractive, weeds had invaded the surrounding beds, and a concentrated effort was needed to put things back as they should.

I began early and quite determined. Each clip from my trimmers removed overgrowth and dry dead under-branches. Before I knew it I was attacking these bushes in a maniacal way. I felt sorry for the bush when I had finished, for my once full, lush weigela bush was practically naked. I felt even more sorry for the next bush, because it saw what was coming. For the moment, they are not pretty, but the dead has been removed, the over-growth has been cut back, and any invading weeds surrounding them have been cleared away. They will return to their once lush, beautiful condition soon enough.

As I did all of this I thought of my self. Cancer is really just like that. Invading, over-growth, that prevents me from being my best. I am so ready for the doctor to attack this. I am so ready to have everything that is possibly in the way to be trimmed. Even if I look different for a while, even if it takes a while for me to come back to the condition I should be.

I know I will have difficult moments. Tomorrow at church will be a beautiful, awful time. I will come before God in both worship and desperation. But today however, I am determined. Determined to fight this, ready to attack, and ready to be healed.

Let the weeding begin.

Less Numb

I am feeling a bit more connected to the world today. I still cannot believe what I have been told. But today my mouth works with my brain, my legs move at will and my eyes are not leaking. Husband went with me today to my cardiac rehab. I told the nurses there what was going on. They were shocked as well. I do have a bit of wisdom concerning rehab: Be careful if you start praying while on the treadmill. I was in the middle of a conversation with God and even decided to close my eyes. God got my attention just before I walked off the back of the thing. That would not have been pretty.

I came home today to a beautiful bouquet of flowers left outside my back door by my friend. I have been shown so much love. Last night my "sisters", remember them? The ones I posed with in our lovely bonnets, came over to talk, laugh, pray and weep with me. What a huge blessing to have friends who will come along beside you and love on you like that. My friend Reta reminded us of a song that had been on her mind all day, it is worth posting the lyrics, because it summed up her feelings toward all of this.

Standing in The Gap
~Babbie Mason


I heard that you were hurting

That you were suffering pain

But I didn't dare just turn my head

And look the other way
For when your heart is aching
My heart is aching too
Let me help you bear your burden
That's the least that I can do

I'll be standing in the gap for you
Just remember someone, somewhere is praying for you
Calling out your name
Praying for your strength
I'll be standing in the gap for you
Right now you may be troubled
But everything will work out fine
For the Spirit knows before you speak
What is on your heart and mind
So I'll be interceding
Til your standing strong again
The peace that passes understanding
Is going to be yours, but until then

So hang on my friend
It won't be long
And you have the strength
To carry on
For when two or three are walking together
It will be a much lighter load
For isn't that what a brother and a sister are for


I ask everyone who stumbles upon this blog to please stand in the gap for me. Lift me up when I do not have the strength or the words to do so myself.

Numb

Suddenly the price of cereal, milk, or even a car really does not matter.
I am numb.

Today I was told that I do have cancer. That is such an ugly word. I think I will rename it. Anybody with a better name for it then please let me know.

I do not really even know where this post will take me as I am trying to process my thoughts as I type. I am sorry for rambling. I am not taking the time to collect thoughts before I post. You get what you get today.

Who would have thought that an "incidental" nodule on my thyroid would turn out to really be cancer? The nodule that would not have even detected if it were not for my heart attack and resulting tests. I had no cancer symptoms, which is a good thing. It is just I don't like the thought of it all.

The report says medullary thyroid cancer. There are 4 types of thyroid cancer and if you rank them 1-4 with #1 being the easiest to treat, or "best to have", mine is #3. What does all of this mean? I do not know. Next week I meet with a specialist and the week after that with a surgeon. We will go from there. School starts for me on the 18th of August. Not really sure why I even threw that in. I cannot worry about that right now.

Do I let my mind race to all of the what ifs? Silly question, it has already. I have Googled enough to be informed, and scared at the same time. Don't tell me to stay off the internet. That is probably like telling a fish to stay out of water. I want to know what all of this means. Even if I read the worse case scenarios, I will know the possibilities and can find out the particulars of my case as they come.

I told my doctor that we have a big God. I honestly believe that. He has proven Himself to me enough times to make me believe that. This new event in my life is not so I can know we have a big God. Maybe it is so everyone else can know it as well.

I am scared though, I will not pretend to be super strong and stoic. My deepest fears though are not for me. They are for my boys. I can't walk through this without fearing that my boys will learn how I did the pain involved with losing your mom when you are still young.

My blog will more than likely take on a new focus. I don't know. I imagine I will chronicle the events of all of this as they come. I imagine on some days I will still get excited about my latest bargains. Can I say, I hope I will still get excited? I can not let this thing suck the living out of me.

My doctor cried as my husband and I were getting ready to leave. You appreciate it when the doctor you have had for 20 years cares enough to feel what you are feeling and is not afraid to show he cares. He even stood and held me as I wept. That was about 5 hours ago. I am still numb, and somewhat still weeping. Husband was with me, and when I took him back to work, he held me. I did not want to let go. I wanted to stop time right there. Safe in the arms of my husband.

God must have planned a diversion for me though ahead of time. My plans today, which I did accomplish, were to make strawberry freezer jam. The strawberries had been crushed and waiting in the freezer for some time. The boys and I made 8 batches, for a total of 34 jars. Something to take your mind off of other things I guess. On another day, that would have been the focus of my post. Not today.

I read something today, actually early today when I had no clue the news would come on this day. I was searching the web, for bargains of all things and noticed that someone left a quote with their post. Now, I have heard this before, but isn't it funny how God reminds you of things just when you need them? It said, "The will of God will not take you where the grace of God does not live". Digest that for a while. I am.

If you can and remember, please pray for me and for my family. I know some people will hear of this and forget to pray, but the more people who know , then the more who will actually pray. I am counting on that.

$10.00 left

I over spent on cereal. I bought 6 boxes, but spent $13.04. That is pretty pricey for my standards, although $2.17 per box is not horrible. I bought 2 gallons of milk on Monday and I know I will need more milk. At least 2 more gallons. I have spent exactly $20.00 and will only spend $10.00 more the rest of the week. Doesn't look like I can get much fruit. I will have to see what I can do. I am committed to only spending $10.00 more so I will make it work. That means no more trips to CVS and none to Walgreens this week. I have enough on hand that I need to stick to this $30.00 a week for awhile. Wonder if I can? I will get through this week before I decide.

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...

***Warning***Medical Post****

Ever feel like you are a character in a book? This summer has been somewhat like a book to me. Let me explain:

If you have a heart attack the doctor will probably want to do a lot of tests.

If he does enough tests, chances are he will probably find something wrong.

If he finds something wrong he will want to do more tests.

If he does more tests, he might find something entirely new wrong.

If he finds something new wrong, he will want to do "a procedure".

If he does "a procedure", and finds something bad wrong, you might have a heart attack.

Well...maybe not that dramatic, but I will explain. during all of my heart tests they "incidentally" found a small nodule on my thyroid. Now, these are very common once someone turns that wonderful, "fall apart 50", so I am not really concerned, but today I went for a biopsy of my thyroid. Sticking a needle in your neck is not a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, but after
the initial "bee sting", it wasn't bad.

Although, leaving the office feeling like a baked potato is stuck in your throat wasn't much fun either. I won't know any results for a week, but like I said, I am just not too concerned. It's just that my summer, you know, my carefree, fun-loving summer, has turned into one giant doctor appointment. I guess I can't complain.

To shop or not to shop, that is the question...

I need nothing.
Well, my family needs milk ( I wish I drank milk).
My husband needs cereal. Sorta.
We have cereal, only we have my kind of cereal. I eat the good for you kind, he eats the sugared up kid cereal. I will definitely buy milk, but you saw the stockpile, and that's just the overflow. My cabinets are full, and my fridge and freezers are full. A shopping break would be refreshing and I could put the grocery money in my new hallway carpet fund.

So, since the deals do not seem to be too prevalent and since I am stocked for Y3K, I just might take a break. I might have serious withdrawal symptoms and might drool at everyone's posted pictures, but I think I am going to stick to my plan.

Oh, wait...I need grapes and other fruit.
I need help.
Maybe I could spend, say $30.00 and get milk, ( with college boy home we use about 5 gallons (ouch) per week) fruit, maybe bread, and some sugary cereal. I do have those Post coupons from today.

Thanks for your help--that's what I'll do, I will go to CVS for milk, $2.89 here, (x5 =$14.45), pick up a couple of boxes of cereal somewhere with coupons, and maybe Aldi for some fruit and bread. That's it. Can I do it? Am I truly addicted to the thrill of it all, or can I really put this frugal thing to the test by knowing when to say when?
I will let you know.

To CVS I Go...

Here is what I am planning for my first trip to CVS this week:


1 Revlon Limited Edition Item 9.99

1 Band-Aid Ultra Strips 2.99

minus $2/ Q on Revlon
minus $1/Q on Band-Aid

-should be around $10.00, I will pay with a $10.00 ECB, might need a small filler in there, will decide that at the store.

-will get back 11.99 in ECBs. Should make some bucks on this. Remember, I am basically only adding to the stockpile if my items are free or a money maker.

I also plan to scope out this week's candy deal to see if the Mentos Gum is included, I've used all my Life Savers B1G1 Qs, so I need something to make the candy deal profitable before I try it.

I will post my success later.

*****Success!

The Revlon makeup was a bit hard to find, this CVS does not always have the ad signs out, so you have to hunt for the items on sale. It is a fancy blush that I probably would not have bought otherwise. But hey- free is free!

So, I bought the blush and a package of Band Aids and had coupons for both so that brought my prices down. I did need a filler to make the most of my $10.00 in Extra Care Bucks. I bought M&Ms and if I plan to do the candy deal I am 50 cents ahead.

Spent 10 ECBs, and 51 cents OOP. Earned 11.99 in ECBS. Not bad.


I do not think the Mentos gum is included on the candy deal.

Stockpile: Part 2

Here is the rest of my stockpile. I will not include many number counts, let's just say I have plenty.


Top drawer: Baby Powder (for me), Q Tips, and Johnson's Buddies ( I will give those away)
Drawer 2: Razors and blades for me. This drawer is completely full. I will not pay more than 50 cents at this point for razors.
Drawer 3: Feminine products. These were all free at Walmart with coupons.
Drawer 4: Razors for the guys and travel size (all free) of body wash. There are a few other trial size samples in this drawer.
Drawer 5: Toothpaste and Toothbrushes. I have enough toothpaste for about 6 months, and enough toothbrushes for the 4 of us for about 2 years. I will not pay anything for either of these items at this point., The only way I will add to this is if it is free.

Skip the top drawer, it is a repeat from the last picture...
Next drawer: Make up and girlie items. I will say that this drawer contains 13 tubes of mascara (again, I will not buy more unless it is free) --most of these were free. There are also many other make up items and beauty tools.
Next drawer: His shave gel and deodorant. Great Nivea deals in this drawer, actually made money purchasing these.
Next drawer: My shave gel, deodorant, make-up wipes , and facial cleansers. I LOVE my make up wipes and have gotten great deals on these.
Last drawer: Bar soap and liquid hand soap. Don't need any more of these either, so again, unless it is free, I'm not buying.

This drawer unit is also in my basement, and is next to the big shelf on a workbench. It did not get in the original picture.
Top drawer: Air freshener refills. ( Ha- I spelled freshener wrong on the label)
Next drawer: Glade scented oil candles, and other air fresheners.
Bottom drawer: Candles


So, there you have it. My stockpile. I love the power of the stockpile. It saves us money, it is very convenient, it has enabled us to bless friends and family, and it has now cut my weekly shopping amounts in half. My mother shopped this way many years ago. She only bought what was a good buy at the time, and little by little the stockpile would grow.

Another coupon method

I showed you how I do my coupons, but the thing is: there are many right ways to file your coupons. What works for one person is not necessarily the best for someone else. Here is another method that seems to bring success. Head over to Keeping the Kingdom First ( I love that blog title, because it is what we should all focus on) and check out how Alyssa files her coupons. Remember, the coupons are the gold here, how we file them can be a matter of taste.

The Stockpile: Part 1

This is why I love to CVS and coupon. By the way, I love it how "CVS" and "coupon" have now become VERBS to so many!

These shelves basically hold the overflow. My kitchen cabinets hold what I normally use and when we run out of something we "shop" in the basement first. The standing drawer units hold entirely health and beauty items. The large shelving unit is mostly food , household goods, and our larger health and beauty items. I will detail the large shelving unit in this post. My next post will go into more detail on the stacking drawer contents.


The very top holds tissues and wipes, next shelf holds paper plates, bowls, and food items.

Next we have condiments, more food items, and drinks. Under those are my dish detergents, cleaning products and household items. (and a stray bag of Malt-0-Meal)

The bottom shelf holds body washes, shampoo, and hair items. The retail value of this shelf alone would probably take care of my entire grocery budget for 3 months. When I think of what I actually paid for these items it boggles my mind. Many of these were totally free and others were just pennies at CVS.

Okay-

If you do not stockpile, then you will probably think I am one of those crazy horders that appear on talk shows and need intensive interventions. I assure you, that I can and do say no. I just haven't had to . If something is free or just pennies I will take it.

However, if you do understand the concept of stockpiling, then you will probably give me a thumb's up.
My stockpile is located in my basement, my house is over 80 years old, so the basement is not much to look at. The fact that I am even showing these pictures is a big step for me. However, God has blessed me with the ability to "purchase" many many of these items for free, and the others at a very low cost and I want to share what careful planning, and couponing can do for you.

The joy of the stockpile means I will not have to pay full price for any of these items for a very long time. I can concentrate my weekly purchases on only the things we need and look for the best deals on those. For instance, right now believe it or not, we are low on cereal. Husand loves his cereal. I have a few boxes, but need to watch for deals on that soon. When a deal hits, I can buy 6 or 8 boxes at once without feeling like I am taking away from money needed for other things because I do not need other things.

My name is...

Anita

There, I did it. I decided to use my real first name on this blog. I got tired of my pseudonym, it had a neat connection to my roots, and family will still "get" it, but it bored me.

My Coupon System

This is my coupon filing system. It has gone through a few changes over the last few months, but now I think I have found the method that works for me.


~ First I clip all the coupons that I can possibly imagine using. I used to clip EVERY single coupon, but I found that I threw many away. I am a bit more selective, but as you can see, I still clip tons.
~ Next, I lay out my envelopes. The category is written on the top and sides of each envelope. I place them sideways on the table so I can see the category, and so I have room to lay out the coupons.
~ Then I just pick up each little pile, take the coupons off the top of the envelope and stuff them inside.

This is an example of some of the sub-categories in my filing system.

My filing box was a gift from my sister. She purchased it at Staples. It normally sells for about $6.00. so the price is very reasonable. She had gotten one for herself for free using recycled ink cartridge coupons (frugality at its best). I like it because it will fit in a grocery cart, I can sub divide the sections with envelopes, it closes, so I can prevent spilling the contents in the grocery aisle, and it is large enough to hold my stash.
The blank envelopes in front are for when I plan a shopping trip. I will pull out one envelope, place the coupons I will need for a particular store, then write the store's name on that envelope and place it back in the front. Practically all of my purchases are well planned in advance. I do not buy much on the spur of the moment, but having a carefully planned list with coupons ready in an envelope, AND having my complete collection with me gives me the best of both worlds. I can purchase planned items, and take advantage of a great coupon deal that I did not know about in advance.

This last picture shows how I sub divided one of my categories: the food section. This file system only came with 12 dividers and that is not near enough for me, but by making smaller sections within the category I think I can find everything easily.


I know there are many methods of coupon organization out there, but this works for me.

Stay tuned, because soon I will post pictures of my newly organized stockpile!

Daughters

This was taken during one of the nightly sessions at CIY (Christ in Youth). These are some of "my" girls. A few of the girls from my girl group were not able to attend.


I shared a dorm apartment with this group during our trip to CIY. I did not know this group of girls very well, and now I am quite blessed to know them. These girls all belong to the small group of the other sponsor in the picture.



I did not give birth to daughters. I never really thought that mattered because I have been completely satisfied with my boys. Yet now that my "boys" are no longer "boys", (they are young men,) I am finding out that girls are okay too. As I have mentioned before, husband and I have been youth sponsors on and off for 25 years. In the last year and a half I have focused my ministry on high school girls. Let me say this, I LOVE them. It is kind of like being a grandma, I can enjoy them immensely, yet I did not have to raise them.

Our trip to Tennessee for the Christ in Youth conference was amazing. If your church has never taken the high school students to this conference then they are really missing out. It is a perfect blend of fun, worship, and bonding of your youth group. You need to check them out .

Reunion

I have returned from my week away. It was an incredible week for the youth at our church and I love being a sponsor. However, this post is about another facet of my trip. Since this youth conference was located in a southern town with family ties, I was able to reconnect with some of my dad's family. My father was the 3rd of 14 children. He passed away nearly 30 years ago and would be 101 if he were alive. Only two of the 14 children remain; the last two girls. One is doing very well, and one is in a nursing home. I had not seen my aunt since my father passed away. It was a very sweet reunion. She is a beautiful, sweet southern lady in every sense of the word and it did my heart good to see her. My husband and I were blessed to have a "long lost" cousin and his wife have us over for a delicious lunch and for him to take us around to visit some old familiar sites.

My heart is still happy from this reunion.

Scroll down for my CVS items this week

I just linked at Money Saving Mom for the first time.

We are leaving

I won't be around here for a bit, we are leaving tomorrow night for a trip to Tennessee. I might have time tomorrow afternoon to hit CVS and Walgreens one time, but that will be the extent of my shopping for the week. I better plan carefully.

Husband and I are going as youth sponsors with our church to a week long high school youth conference. We are taking about 80 youth and there are about 13 sponsors, including our youth minister and his wife. We have done this several times and we love it! I feared after the heart attack that I would not be able to do this, but the doctor has given me the clear. He said I could climb a mountain if I want to !

Today, however is packed with things to do. I have not started packing, (need to iron first) I have a baby shower to attend, and I am taking supper to husband's folks tonight so we can eat with them and visit before we go. They are leaving as well, and going on an Alaskan cruise!

After I return from this trip I hope to get some organizing done before school starts and then I plan to post pictures of my stockpiles. They have served me well, just need organized. It is so fun to go to our "store" here in the house when I need something and realize that my items were nearly free, rather than make a run to the real store and pay full price. I just cannot imagine paying $3.00 ever again for a toothbrush!

So, everyone have a good week. Pray for God to move in a mighty way next week with our youth!

First trip to CVS this week

My first trip this week was on Sunday afternoon. I did the Olay deal and the Frebreeze deal. I spent $2.09 after coupons and extra bucks and made back 15 more in extra bucks.
My new goal is to try to stay around $2.00 out of pocket. If I have to spend more than that, then I need to decide if I really need these items at all. At this point my stock pile is so large that I can sit back and wait for the best of the best deals. I can even afford to do the unimaginable...spend more extra bucks than I make in return.

Yesterday was a sweet day to me. I have become quite fond of the make up removal cloths. These would have been considered a luxury in my "pre CVS" days. I would have never bought these, and now I have a stockpile of Garnier, CVS, and Olay cloths that have all been free or nearly free.

Isn't it funny how the things we could never afford now are free, and the things we used to think were bargains we can no longer "afford"? I tell people I cannot afford Dollar General anymore because I have to use real money there!

This new way of using coupons and learning to stack deals has been such a blessing to my family and I .

Whew!

Today was one of those days. I could have had a few more hours and maybe I would have gotten everything done.

6:15 rise and shine (well, rise anyway, I do not “shine” before 8:00)

8:30- cardiac rehab , I am getting better at this, and they are adding a few more minutes to my routine.

9:30- had to stop by a local doctor’s office to pick up necessary paperwork for youngest son’s new college

9:45- quick trip into Walgreen’s, just bought the Bayer Heart Advantage with a coupon, received a $2.00 register reward for another purchase.

10:00- “had” to run into CVS. The coupon scanner was VERY good to me today. I just kept scanning my card until it told me to come back tomorrow. 12 coupons spitted out, and they were actually for good stuff. None of them were used today though. I will see what the next ad brings. I bought just 3 things, 2 Pert Plus shampoos that ended up costing 50 cents each after manufacturer’s coupons and the sale price, and a hand soap that I used the $2.00 skin care coupon on. It was 50 cents as well.

10:30- stopped by our insurance agent’s to add youngest son’s “new” car on our policy.

10:40- stopped at husband’s work for a moment

10:45- dropped off our property tax bill at the bank for payment from our escrow account

10:50- stopped at our other Walgreen’s and thought about spending the $2.00 register reward, decided to wait and use it on milk later in the week

11:00- got home just in time to prepare lunch for husband and myself

11:10- husband came home for his lunch break, I love it that he gets to come home everyday, and that he is great about eating up leftovers!

11:45- began a daunting task of necessary paperwork for son’s new college and numerous phone calls that had to be made. I sat for 4 hours in my dining room taking care of household business. Youngest son and I made numerous calls about his college plans and ran into difficulty with his schedule. Thankfully he was able to get an appointment for tomorrow with an advisor to help with his schedule.

4:00- ran back to husband’s work to take a check for him to sign, then to the bank, got gas (ouch) and stopped back by his work for a minute

4:45- quick trip to the closest CVS. This was fun. I talked myself out of doing the current mascara BOGO deal ( I currently have 10 tubes in my stockpile that cost me nearly nothing, I cannot see paying $8.99 just to get a BOGO deal when I do not need it. I will not get anymore mascara unless the deal is for free or perhaps for 50 cents) I made one small purchase and the fun part is, I gave the clerk some of the skin care coupons I had printed. She was thrilled.

5:15- home again, took a quick shower and got ready for a meeting at church, did some more necessary paperwork, for the meeting tonight

7:00- meeting at church and then a quick supper at Wendy’s afterwards.

9:00- MORE paperwork, this to take to a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and finally checking emails and catching up on the blog

I could have used a few more hours. A few for relaxing would be nice.

Good thing about this day---while I was busy with all of this, my sons did ALL of the laundry, took care of the dishwasher, dishes , cleaned the kitchen (twice), took care of the pets and basically maintained the household.