Saturday, December 20, 2008
Silly me. I watched a sad movie today and spent half of the day blubbering. First I blubbered about the movie, then of course, I blubbered about every thought that entered my head. It really does not take much anymore to get the fountain started.
I feel so incredibly blessed. To think that next week is Christmas and that I am feeling so well health wise makes me want to blubber all the more. Most of the time I hold it in.
I spend a lot of time lately wondering. Not wondering why I had a heart attack and cancer. Yet, wondering why I survived both of them with such a good prognosis. Seems we mostly ask the big "why" questions when something terrible happens, and we don't think about asking "why" when things work out good for us. However, I AM wondering why. What amazing things does God have in store for me that He would go out of His way to spare me from not one, but two serious events? Actually three if we count the breast cancer scare.
This Christmas has taken on a whole new beautiful meaning. Oh, don't get me wrong. I have always appreciated and loved Christmas. This year it is different though. I look at our tree and want to cry, I open each card and say a prayer of thanks for the friends and family that mean so much to us. I shop with a greater joy than ever before, and to be honest, I am looking forward to getting presents as well. I want to soak in every second of this Christmas. I feel a bit like Mary did on that first Christmas. No, I cannot compare my experiences with that of Mary, yet I have always loved the account in Luke Chapter 2. I love verse 19 where it says that "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" I am treasuring, and I am pondering. Pondering how a little baby came to save us, to give us life abundant. Pondering how I have been given a huge gift this year and how much I am loved.
This next week will be busy. Youngest will be home from school so both boys will be home for a while. I will be cooking more, cleaning more, baking, wrapping, and waiting. Waiting anxiously for Christmas morning with my family. Waiting to savor the moment, to treasure, and to ponder.