Monday, October 12, 2009
We are born, we live, we die. Right?
That is how it is supposed to be, right? Anything not in that order is just wrong.
I am having a hard time knowing why a precious baby girl, Mary Genevieve, had to have this "natural" order turned around. Our great niece died while still in the womb. She did not have the opportunity to be truly born until she opened her eyes in Jesus' arms, instead of her mother's. Her living will be eternal, but not on this earth.
Our nephew and niece had to say their goodbyes before any hellos and their grief is tremendous. All day I have been reminded of the scripture in Isaiah that says "My ways are not your ways". But being reminded of that is giving little comfort here. This is too big for me to ever wrap my head around. My husband and I suffered the miscarriage of our first child after just 8 weeks. Our attachment and anticipation were already great, and that loss hit us hard. To lose a child after carrying it for a full 9 months, when you had all of your thoughts focused on meeting your son or daughter for the first time is beyond grief. Is there a word in the dictionary to describe this pain?
I love God with all my heart and yes I trust Him, but do I understand this? Never. About 30 years ago I saw someone in my own family go through this same horrible grief. I did not understand it then, and yes, I questioned God on that one. I realize now that there are no answers. Just questions.
Please, for those of you who pray, I am asking for prayers so strong that they are physically felt. This family needs to feel love in a mighty way. If you knew this couple you would know how devastating this loss will be. They adore their children. They do things right. They realize that children are such a gift and they cherish theirs.
Quite honestly, our entire family needs to see healing. We are hurting.