Weeding

This morning I got up early and went out before the heat is unbearable. I weeded. Quite therapeutic I might say. Now, since the heart attack I have neglected a lot of things. My yard does not stay in a very respectable state. Part of it is laziness I know, part is my busy schedule this summer. Cardiac rehab and doctor's appointments have taken up a big part of my days. Some days I just want to come home and vegetate.

My front bushes were in an especially sorry state. The overgrowth was not attractive, weeds had invaded the surrounding beds, and a concentrated effort was needed to put things back as they should.

I began early and quite determined. Each clip from my trimmers removed overgrowth and dry dead under-branches. Before I knew it I was attacking these bushes in a maniacal way. I felt sorry for the bush when I had finished, for my once full, lush weigela bush was practically naked. I felt even more sorry for the next bush, because it saw what was coming. For the moment, they are not pretty, but the dead has been removed, the over-growth has been cut back, and any invading weeds surrounding them have been cleared away. They will return to their once lush, beautiful condition soon enough.

As I did all of this I thought of my self. Cancer is really just like that. Invading, over-growth, that prevents me from being my best. I am so ready for the doctor to attack this. I am so ready to have everything that is possibly in the way to be trimmed. Even if I look different for a while, even if it takes a while for me to come back to the condition I should be.

I know I will have difficult moments. Tomorrow at church will be a beautiful, awful time. I will come before God in both worship and desperation. But today however, I am determined. Determined to fight this, ready to attack, and ready to be healed.

Let the weeding begin.