Something to hold on to...

"Today I am one day nearer home than ever before. One day nearer the dawning when the fog will lift, mysteries clear, and all question marks straighten up into exclamation points!
 I shall see the King!"     Vance Havner

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Chalk This up to Experience

I have been asked why I did not stop the doctor yesterday and insist on numbing medication, and I have given that question some thought. I believe it is due to the old "fight or flight" mode that your body goes into at times of great stress. Some would react by announcing their dissatisfaction and insisting things change (fight). However, my reaction was to escape the situation in the way my body told me to, just try to pass out (flight). I guess we truly do not know which of those modes our body will go into until the time comes. I have decided though that now I will fight, I will my doctor that this has to be changed and that if I ever have to have his done again that I will not do it without medication.

Warning***Actual Graphic Medical Procedure Description***Not Kidding.

Today was my surgical breast biopsy. Prior to the actual biopsy I was subjected to another procedure which helps the doctor find the area needing the biopsy. This was truly an experience:

Imagine if you will, one particular body part placed firmly in a vice grip. Add to that picture a needle being poked through it like a nail through a brick. Add to that no lidocane, none at all to ease the pain of this nail going through a brick. (If any of you who are reading this have any influence on medical practices, would you please make it a law that certain body parts must have numbing medication prior to anyone poking and prodding? Thank you.) Imagine now a wire being poked through said needle into said body part. Now, here's the kicker, imagine passing out while you are in a vice grip with a needle and wire sticking out of your body part. Very interesting. I told them I was feeling faint and luckily they believed me, but they continued on their quest to get the needle into the brick. Then I told them I was really going to pass out. I had that strange tingling feeling in my hands, then the immediate profuse sweating, then that ominous sinking feeling. I could hear her say, "Stay with us"--easier said than done. I could hear her say breathe deep breaths and blow them out. By this time she is behind me supporting me and trying to fan me with her hand. The doctor however is hammering away. She asked if I was still with them....then I mustered up everything I could to pull words out of my mouth, only I felt like I had to pull words from my toes. It was that hard to choose whether to speak or succumb to the darkness. She asked again if I was still with them, and I used my slightest inside voice and said, "A little". I remember her repeating the question and me struggling again to answer. I am convinced that if she had not kept asking questions and requiring an answer that I would have been gone for sure. I am deeply grateful that I was sitting at the time and not standing at a mammogram machine (oh, I mean the vice grip). Once that was over I needed to go to the bathroom and it must have been a funny sight, my entourage of 3 nurses and I parading down the hall to the nearest bathroom. I was clutching a blanket around my waist to hide my backside due to the lovely hospital gown, one nurse was toting my IV pole, and two nurses were perched at my side like columns for support. Due to these events the surgical time was delayed by about 40 minutes. However, by this time I was just glad to be in the OR and put under anesthesia.

From what we know the biopsy went well, but it will be a few days before we get the results. The anesthesia was handled well, and I arrived home about 5 hours after surgery. I went straight to bed though with my familiar bag of frozen peas (same bag--my new best friend). A wonderful supper of homemade vegetable soup and all trimmings was brought to us by a friend from church and I am doing well.

Tomorrow I will stay home and keep the frozen peas handy.


Penny said...

after I read your Blog I had to sit back in my chair and start breathing again because the whole time I was reading it, I was holding my breath!! You brave soul! I hope that you are better today and i will pray that you get good news on your test. I hope you have a lovely weekend...

Inkling said...

I cannot believe they did that without pain meds. They have got to be crazy. They could at least have given you a local. Mom said it was painful, but I don't remember her telling me how much. You are one brave woman. I would have kicked the doctor and inadvertently taken some of his hearing away with my vehement screeching. I know this because I didn't do so well with the embarrassing and painful internal exam that diagnosed a common pregnancy ailment a couple months ago. Thankfully, my husband still has all of his fingers, because I was biting them in the vain attempt to keep myself from making noise for the people on the other side of the curtain to hear.