Something to hold on to...

"Today I am one day nearer home than ever before. One day nearer the dawning when the fog will lift, mysteries clear, and all question marks straighten up into exclamation points!
 I shall see the King!"     Vance Havner

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Round Three

Today was another day of pre-op appointments, including seeing a nurse, anesthesia, insurance (they must get paid you know) a pre-op physical, and lastly another blood draw. I am surprised they found any blood. I wonder how much I have had siphoned out since my heart attack in May...
First a heart attack, then thyroid cancer, now my breast biopsy. ( I am still not really saying, "Bring it on")

Next Thursday I will have my surgical breast biopsy. I am not expecting any bad news here, ( although I have said that before)
I guess though I would rather they do this surgical biopsy and find out for sure whether or not there is anything bad sneaking around in there. I will be off work the day after as well.

Something else happened today. The rest of my steri-strips were removed. I am not real pleased with what was revealed. I know that scars improve greatly in time, and I will certainly use my share of scar improving medication. (not using a brand name here, last time I did I had a comment from someone in the company, and it was much like a huge free commercial endorsement, which I deleted by the way) The fact is though, that to be really really honest, which I always try to be, it is a bit depressing. I know you all will give me lots of encouragement, but please at the same time take a moment to validate my feelings, and agree with me that it is okay to be a bit depressed, as long as I do not dwell on it. I have to brag again on my husband, because that is exactly what he did, I told him afterwards that the scar was a bit depressing, and he said it is okay to feel that way, and that it is normal to feel that way. He said for me not to feel bad about that, just do not dwell on it. I love it that he didn't immediately say that it is silly to feel that way. He validated me, yet helped me put things in perspective at the same time.

After all of these appointments we enjoyed a delicious dinner out together at one of our favorite restaurants. Nice ending to a busy day.

On an exciting note for me, youngest is coming home later tonight. I have not seen him since he went back to school after my first surgery and I miss him. I will not get to spoil him quite like I want to, but I will try to find someway to spoil him while he is home. Surely we can find another favorite restaurant to eat at this weekend.

1 comment:

Inkling said...

I hear you on this. I can imagine that it must be hard, not only to deal with the scar when you'd rather see beautiful and perfect skin around your neck, but also to see it and be reminded of the uphill battles you've had this summer when you've been trying so hard to stay joyful and full of hope and peace. Hope that makes sense anyway. I will tell you this've always been beautiful to me, and you still are. I love your silver hair, your smile, your ability to tan and look like you live a life at the beach, your eyes, and even the pedicure I remember from a couple summers ago. In fact, it could be said that I hope Uncle Greenteeth is indeed "happy for the rest of his life" because he did NOT make an ugly woman his wife. He made a most beautiful woman to be his wife, and you know what the song says about that. =) I hope that you'll have increasing days when you don't have to work to see that beauty - days when the scar isn't clamoring for your attention, and days when you look in the mirror and find it totally easy to see that womanly beauty you possess. Truth be told, we women all need that.